Looking for Confirmation

Well, it's 4:00 a.m. in the morning here (I think Dave bounced me out of the bed;lol)but I'm thankful for this time to send this off to you both. I listened to this audio yesterday, and it was as wonderful as all the others. Sometimes, the darkness and lies of this world over-shadow the reality of the truth of our identity in Christ. It's 'there' all of the time, but the shadows that we encounter can seem heavy at times, and I long to relate to those I'm united with in heart and spirit in this blessed life in Christ. You, two are always speaking to what is real and true, blowing away like chaff, the bs of the darkened mind we run into daily. Yes, Paul encouraged them in the Reality, and you both do too. What joy to have these audios to listen to. What confirmation to the heart and Mind of Christ in us! With a closeness of heart I send my sisterly affection to you both. Hearing you is encouraging, and joy abounds in my spirit!

..and a good one it was!

I went through so much doubt and fear, wondering if I was really saved in my younger years. I was never as sure as those around me that I had genuinely received Christ and repented of 'every sin' or had the 'experience' of knowing I was saved like so many others had testified to. But I kept on going - hoping that at some point I would give up some hidden sin or turn everything over or do WHATEVER it was that God wanted me to in order to have this break through. After several fairly tormenting months I resigned myself that I believed in Christ. I didn't know if it was 'saving faith' (which didn't please some in my church who seemed to be losing patience) but it was what it was. So, I quit walking forward during the alter calls and just dealt quietly with my doubts.

Of course, 'examining myself' to see if I was in Christ was just one more major cause of doubt. What about my life or 'myself' confirmed that I was saved? Horrible.

In more recent years I've clung to 'His Spirit bears witness with our spirit' which, after listening to this audio, is what I think Paul was appealing to when he said 'examine yourselves'. Ironically, it's the complete opposite of examining 'my life' with all its shortcomings. What a difference!

Thanks again, guys, for this encouraging talk :)