Peace to you, Jim ~ Question: How do I overcome the emotional turbulence I experience whenever my married neighbor flirts with me? He is a man of wealth and prestige, looked up to in the community, has friends in high places, but has made it clear to me that he’s only interested in a discreet affair. And I’m certain the shame of my being poor and living in a servant’s quarters type structure has plenty of bearing on the situation. I’ve allowed myself to be seduced by this man’s attention to the point of heavy petting and now am even more ashamed. He continues to try to seduce me further with flattery and now I find myself so nervous around him that I cave in like a child, crying to him to please stop. It hurts so bad to think he only sees me as a toy to use and discard and that I’ve helped him come to that conclusion with my failure to endure temptation. It’s become an obsession with me to try to convince him I can be of more value to him as a good neighbor and friend. I don’t know why I even bother, other than it is just tearing me apart that someone of his stature in this world views me only as a possible cheap thrill. Most of my life I’ve been led to believe my worth is in what I look like. Can you please show me in Scripture that I have more value as a woman? Thank you. Hope you answer soon. anonymous
My dear lady, you don’t need any Scripture to prove to yourself that you have worth as a woman — or as one loved by God — for the truth is in your heart, despite all the reasons that would seek to convince you otherwise. For God himself, within you, is all the proof you need of the unfathomable worth you’ve been lavished with. Your emotional turbulence exists because you take heed to lies that contradict the worth God testifies to. You speak of a shame in being poor, but that sense of shame has no basis except in the lie created by those who think they are what they possess; and those who believe themselves as having worth based upon a consensual agreement of what appears to be. You are seduced by the lie this man holds to because the lie appears to have substance. But it has none. Your value is Christ himself.
I hope to hear back from you,
Grace to you & your family in the name of Jesus Christ, dear Jim ~ Thank you so much for your words of truth & encouragement. I agree with you, I know in my heart & mind that I’ve been taking heed to lies because it’s so against everything God says. And I know God is not a man that He would lie. And truly, if I am Christ’s, I’m one with Him! So that makes me something altogether holy with Him, right? I’ve been deliberately refraining from dwelling on thoughts about this man today, refusing to allow myself to sulk about what he said, and basically doing the apostle Paul thingy, “beating my flesh into submission” ‘cause I don’t happen to like my flesh bullying me around. And I prayed to God that you would answer me today to confirm that I have worth to the Lord. I feel kinda dumb in forgetting that. But oh well…
Actually, I’m not genuinely poor per se… my husband went home to the Lord less than a year ago [had brain cancer] & I recently sold the small house we shared and put most of the money into savings. I contributed a fair sum to a homeless shelter and also gave a percentage to my son towards his music ministry. I feel extremely blessed of God and rich in Him that I was able to do so, ya know? But to this affluent neighbor, I am poor and insignificant. Nevertheless, I’ve decided my best bet is to accept that I don’t need to prove anything to him anymore and just move away from this area very soon. I think that to “flee all appearances of evil” would be in my best interest. So I’m making arrangements to look at other homes this week. I’ve already been blessed in my decision to do so as my daughter called me with the wonderful news that she’ll be discharged from the Air Force soon and wants to move in with me. I’m so thankful to God about that! I’ve missed her so much!! And oh boy, is she a ray of light to everyone around her. That girl has sunshine coming out of her pores! So thank you very, very much for your encouragement & guidance and helping me to endure through this trial. I felt so alone in my troubles and couldn’t turn to anyone locally for fear of being judged. It is a breath of air just to know this ministry is available. I’m glad I found your website and have already met some wonderful people on the message board. I ask our faithful Lord to keep you & your loved ones in health, in harmony, and to provide for every need in your family. ‘Cause you sure are a blessing to His body! Peace & love in Jesus Christ anonymous
Your response has brought joy to my heart! I thank you for your kind words. :)