I feel for you in your financial distresses as I can relate well. Didn't you know that God has chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith? I think you DO know this because you are DEFINITELY rich in faith!!! Funny thing is that the verse you quoted about "have not because I ask not" is taken from James, but so is the verse that I quoted. If you read James in context it should become obvious that the "have not" verse does not describe you at all, but the "rich in faith" verse surely does. :)
Your post adequately describes the self-fulfilling prayer of this woman. She is suggesting that YOU have not because you have not done what SHE has done. It has nothing to do with a real communication to the Father. I say "self-fulfilling" because of the fact that you said the pastors have been passing out copies of this book at church. Well if they have, and the people are reading it and really want to believe that God will answer their "prayer of Jabez" then they will do whatever they can to make the "prayer" work. So it gets announced at church and SHAZAM!! "GOD" starts "answering" the prayer immediately.
The "pastor" at one of my earlier churches used to often talk at prayer meetings about "putting feet to our prayers". If you take away all the religious mumbo-jumbo, it becomes pretty obvious that we were creating "prayers" that would get "answered" by doing them ourselves. It's a real shame that we have so little love going on in our midst without stimulating what should be there anyway by an attempt to help answer our own prayers. In other words, if money can answer the bulk of my prayers (and a good doctor the rest) then what do I need to communicate with God about? Duh.
Another thing to consider is the possibly that maybe this woman needs a financial crisis to cause her to see her true riches, but has had it put on hold until the next time. Just a thought, I don't know.
If I got that book and prayed it whatever prayer it is, will God give me the money I need? Do I even want that money? Mary
See? You really DO know, don't you? :)