Hello my dear friend,
People will let you down, but Christ does not. I have learned through my many years not to trust in the flesh or even in the hope of the flesh, but to look to the miraculous life of the Spirit of Christ as he works within even those who may barely remember the miracle within them.
There is one determination worth making: to refuse to estimate people based on what we see, but only through the reality of Christ. You are NOT what you think you are! In Christ you have been made entirely new. Believe me, I know that your perception of the outward denies this to you, and even slaps you in the face in sheer mockery for even considering that this could be true, but I tell you that it is indeed true!! Our Father is pleased to have left us in a world made up of the outward, for in doing so, we have no alternative but to realize that what He claims must be understood in the realm of the miraculous!! As your life appears to you to be totally out of control and totally worthless listen to His assurance in His Son!!
I know you have been wrung through the ringer and are thoroughly worn out, and it pains me to witness the harshness of your experiences. Though the people in your life may give you a million reasons to view them according to a standard of performance - or the lack of it - refuse to make an estimation of them based upon those many, many reasons. You see, there is only one reason, only one perception in which sanity is found: the work and life of Christ alone!