It just seems like absolutely everything is a struggle and most of the time, I just want to give up. I'm on the rollercoaster ride again and I hate it with everything in me. I wonder, honestly, how the life of Christ in me is real here, in this spot, when I can see nothing but pain & feel completely helpless to change where things are going. Any thoughts? anonymous
I have some thoughts.
I was just talking with a co-worker - a brother in Christ - about this exact thing today. He doesn't know what to do. He has wanted to go into what's called full-time ministry ... and yet it doesn't seem to be happening. He can't even pay his bills each month. He wonders what God is doing. He sees no indication of anything from God in this. He sees himself as a failure. He sees himself (as he said it) "Wandering around in the wilderness".
But you know what I saw? I saw a man with a story. I saw a man who has something worthwhile to tell. I saw a man who is getting squeezed ... and is being left with nothing of his own to lean upon. I saw a man who is coming to see that he has nothing else BUT Christ. That is what I told him. And as he was listening, the tears welled up in his eyes. And he was refreshed. But he still has his bills to pay.
I'll be honest with you. I've had my share of struggles and pain, and the tickets to the roller coaster ride have filled up my trash can ... and I don't like going through any of it.
But there has been something of immeasurable value discovered through the process: Christ. To know the "fellowship of HIS sufferings" never meant that we would enjoy the pain, but that we would be ministered to through it all. It is only because we have been joined together with God by the Spirit given us that there could be any joy coming as a result of these painful struggles we all go through. His Spirit witnesses together with our spirit of the life of Christ within us ... and it leaves us with no option other than miraculous. Somehow through all of this we know that we have nothing but HIM. When all that can be shaken is shaken ... that which is not shaken is known to be of Him, through Him, and to Him.