Recently, over the past 2-3 weeks I have felt some more freedom in my life from laws, principles, expectations (others’ and my own) and I have begun, very recently, to discuss these things with others, such as how we are free from sin and condemnation. But sometimes I have felt like I am talking ahead of my experience, if you can understand what I mean. Today, I feel like I have felt for years, which seems like the same old life, with its ups and downs, sins and and struggles with temptations. So, it makes me wonder if I really am understanding anything that is truly setting me free and if I really have anything to offer others, the ones I want to minister to. A couple of times I have tried to explain my new thoughts to another and it seems like they respond with a , Huh, what are you talking about? How does this relate to our discussion.
I really want to live differently, with freedom in my relationship with God, with my family and others. But I feel like I am falling back into my old ways of relating and there seems to be no way out, but through determination of will to think differently. But that can be wearisome.
So, is what I have been experiencing of late something real? Or, have I been trying to convince myself that it is. Is there true freedom from frustration, sense of failure, discouragement, etc. or is this life in Christ a constant battle, as many Christians seem to believe, between the Spirit and the flesh.
“O, wretched man that I am.” Have you heard that before? —Tim
I’ve definitely heard that one before, and I don’t just mean as a Bible verse but from the inside (though our words will take own their form). It is the cry of the heart that has been caught up in the delusion that it is still under law. Despite our reasoning, there is nothing that can replace the amazing revelation of the spirit that comes as a result of experiencing this cry. Do you know why? Because that cry cannot be satisfied by learning words and methods. For words and methods can only stifle the cry and provide intellectual fodder to help explain away what is really happening.
A couple of times I have tried to explain my new thoughts to another and it seems like they respond with a , Huh, what are you talking about? How does this relate to our discussion. —Tim
Man oh man, have I been through this! Why does it throw us? Because we’re trying to explain the things of the spirit to the mind of the flesh. Fact is we hope to make it sound reasonable to our own ears as well as to the other. It won’t, it can’t … it’s impossible … because it is absolutely stupid to the logic of man! Of course they’re going to say it doesn’t relate … and we understand that lack of relation.
“You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?” John 4:10-12 NIV
I’m telling you to be glad that it doesn’t make sense either to you or to them! Don’t worry if it feels as if you’re speaking ahead of your experience because the same truth is in you even now as it will be later. It’s not a matter of getting it down, it’s a matter of testifying to the truth of the life that is in you, a truth that can never be grasped by the logic we’ve learned from all our study and reason. It is only when we think we can grasp it that it crumbles as we speak it. “Let him who speaks speak as the very word of God” :)